Sometimes I find myself missing him
the way he would look at me with blue eyes so much like my own
his blond hair always slightly messy
never perfect
I don't like perfect
the way he would wrap his arms around me and whisper in my hair
that he loved me
or missed me
how his face would light up when he saw me
how he liked to just be with me
even if it meant just pushing the cart around the supermarket
now when I go shopping I find myself looking for him
why isn't he behind me patiently pushing the cart while I throw stuff in
then I remember
when I needed him most he was never there
Sometimes I find myself thinking about him and it still hurts like it was yesterday
Monday, December 29, 2008
Giving thanks
Giving my thanks & best of the Season to you....
I have a list of people I know all written in a book, And every year at about this time I go and take a look, And that is when I realise that those names are a part, Not of the book they're written in but of my mind & heart, For each name stands for someone who has crossed my path some time, And in that meeting they've become a friend of mine, And once you've met some people the years can not erase, The memory of a pleasant word or a friendly face, So when I send a my seasonal wishes especially to you, It's because you're on that list of folk I'm indebted to, And you are one of many folk who in times past I've met, And happen to be one of those that I do not want to forget, And whether I have known you for many years or few, In some way you have a part in shaping things I do. This, the spirit of the Season, that forever and ever endures,May it leave it richest blessing in the hearts of you and yours.
Wishing you health, happiness & much laughter in 2009!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
I've got a secret
Do you want to know what it is?
If I tell you you have to promise not to tell ok?
Pinky swear?
Ok I'll tell you......................
My dad is Superman.
I swear it's true.
Or at least I thought it was as a kid.
A while back I promised to talk more about myself, my life and my parents so I'm going to try and keep that promise.
When we were little (between 3 & 6 years old) my dad used to tell us he was Superman and he would make us promise not to tell anyone. Of course we promised. He would then say he'd prove it to us by flying. He would make a big production out of it and say "Well if I'm going to fly I need my cape" and he would put a towel around his neck and hold it closed with a clothespin - I swear I'm not making this up - it's all true. Once he had his 'cape' on he would get a running start and jump over the queen sized bed in my parents bedroom. At 4 years old I was amazed as was my younger brother and my older sister K (my sister K & I are only 11 months apart).
You have to love a dad who would put a towel around his neck and jump over his bed all in an effort to have fun and make his kids clap their hands and laugh.
I don't remember when I realized that he wasn't Superman. I guess it was just one of those things that you stop believing in as you get older, like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
I do remember years later talking to my older sister 'S' and laughing at how we believed that he was Superman. Since there is an age gap between me & my 2 oldest sisters they believed our dad was Superman first and they obvisously realized he wasn't Superman first. S said that she used to laugh to herself when we were little and we used to ask our dad to put on his cape and 'fly'.
So that's my dad, I love him and I'm grateful every day that he's my dad.
If I tell you you have to promise not to tell ok?
Pinky swear?
Ok I'll tell you......................
My dad is Superman.
I swear it's true.
Or at least I thought it was as a kid.
A while back I promised to talk more about myself, my life and my parents so I'm going to try and keep that promise.
When we were little (between 3 & 6 years old) my dad used to tell us he was Superman and he would make us promise not to tell anyone. Of course we promised. He would then say he'd prove it to us by flying. He would make a big production out of it and say "Well if I'm going to fly I need my cape" and he would put a towel around his neck and hold it closed with a clothespin - I swear I'm not making this up - it's all true. Once he had his 'cape' on he would get a running start and jump over the queen sized bed in my parents bedroom. At 4 years old I was amazed as was my younger brother and my older sister K (my sister K & I are only 11 months apart).
You have to love a dad who would put a towel around his neck and jump over his bed all in an effort to have fun and make his kids clap their hands and laugh.
I don't remember when I realized that he wasn't Superman. I guess it was just one of those things that you stop believing in as you get older, like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
I do remember years later talking to my older sister 'S' and laughing at how we believed that he was Superman. Since there is an age gap between me & my 2 oldest sisters they believed our dad was Superman first and they obvisously realized he wasn't Superman first. S said that she used to laugh to herself when we were little and we used to ask our dad to put on his cape and 'fly'.
So that's my dad, I love him and I'm grateful every day that he's my dad.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
My friend D
I have a friend named D. We've known each other for almost 10 years and I adore him. We worked together for the first 8 years of our friendship. On the weekends he plays drums in a band & he's also the back up singer. His voice is amazing. When he sings he gives me the chills. The first time I heard him sing a Linkin Park song I was blown away. I stopped what I was doing and turned around to watch him because I couldn't believe the voice I was hearing was coming out of him. He sounds exactly like the singer in the band - the one that's singing, not the one that's rap/talking/singing. The first time I complimented him on his singing he got embarrassed & blushed. It was cute.
I usually go see his band play by myself because while I'm there I don't want to have to entertain anyone. Besides that he always makes it a point to hang out with me whenever the band takes a break. He loves to hear the stories about the guys (weirdos) that have tried to pick me up. His favorite is the guy that licked my face as I was walking by. Yes you read correctly - some guy wanted to get my attention as I was walking by him so he licked my face! Can you say eeewww?! The place was packed and as I was walking by he offered to buy me a drink. I said no thank you & kept walking. He leaned over as if to whisper something to me and since the place was packed I was having a hard time squeezing past people & he licked my cheek. I was equally stunned & grossed out at the same time. When I finally made my way back to D I blurted out "eewww some drunk guy just licked my face". At first he didn't believe me because he didn't think anyone would actually lick the face of someone they didn't know - he thought I must have been exaggerating until I pointed out that I would never think to make something like that up - not even to make him laugh. The rest of the night he kept asking me if I could spot the guy in the crowded bar or if he tried to lick me again. At the time I was not amused but now I can laugh about it.
I haven't seen D in a while and I miss him. We've both being busy with work & life; that's what happens I guess. I called him for his birthday last month - I always call him on his birthday - I like to remind him that he's getting older because I'm nice like that.
The last time I went to see his band play he sang a lot and as usual he was amazing and gave me chills as I listened to him. I stayed until the band finished playing for the night and we had a drink together before he drove me home. When I leaned over to kiss him good bye he turned his face and kissed me on the lips. A real kiss. We had been friends for so long & we had never kissed like that - it took my breath away. So much so that I kissed him again for what seemed like forever. I have no idea what came over either of us. When we finally pulled a way from each other I said good bye again, got out of the car as fast as I could with tripping over my own feet and rushed into my apt.
The next morning when I woke up I had a smile on my face thinking about kissing D good night until the thought entered my head that we may have just ruined our friendship. I was a wreck all day Sunday and I dreaded going to work on Monday. Since we worked in different locations I didn't always see him at work but there was always the possibilty as we both worked at each location as our jobs dictated.
As it turned out that Monday I was covering the reception desk and as I answered the phone I heard D's voice on the other end - he was laughing and teasing me about Saturday. I was so relieved to hear his voice and realize that our friendship wasn't ruined - it was far from ruined. When I told him I was concerned about ruining our friendship he laughed and said that kissing me would never ruin our friendship; if anything it made us closer.
There is definitely an attraction there but we both realized we wouldn't want to lose what we had as friends.
I haven't kissed a boy in so long that I almost forget what it's like. I miss having someone special to kiss.
I usually go see his band play by myself because while I'm there I don't want to have to entertain anyone. Besides that he always makes it a point to hang out with me whenever the band takes a break. He loves to hear the stories about the guys (weirdos) that have tried to pick me up. His favorite is the guy that licked my face as I was walking by. Yes you read correctly - some guy wanted to get my attention as I was walking by him so he licked my face! Can you say eeewww?! The place was packed and as I was walking by he offered to buy me a drink. I said no thank you & kept walking. He leaned over as if to whisper something to me and since the place was packed I was having a hard time squeezing past people & he licked my cheek. I was equally stunned & grossed out at the same time. When I finally made my way back to D I blurted out "eewww some drunk guy just licked my face". At first he didn't believe me because he didn't think anyone would actually lick the face of someone they didn't know - he thought I must have been exaggerating until I pointed out that I would never think to make something like that up - not even to make him laugh. The rest of the night he kept asking me if I could spot the guy in the crowded bar or if he tried to lick me again. At the time I was not amused but now I can laugh about it.
I haven't seen D in a while and I miss him. We've both being busy with work & life; that's what happens I guess. I called him for his birthday last month - I always call him on his birthday - I like to remind him that he's getting older because I'm nice like that.
The last time I went to see his band play he sang a lot and as usual he was amazing and gave me chills as I listened to him. I stayed until the band finished playing for the night and we had a drink together before he drove me home. When I leaned over to kiss him good bye he turned his face and kissed me on the lips. A real kiss. We had been friends for so long & we had never kissed like that - it took my breath away. So much so that I kissed him again for what seemed like forever. I have no idea what came over either of us. When we finally pulled a way from each other I said good bye again, got out of the car as fast as I could with tripping over my own feet and rushed into my apt.
The next morning when I woke up I had a smile on my face thinking about kissing D good night until the thought entered my head that we may have just ruined our friendship. I was a wreck all day Sunday and I dreaded going to work on Monday. Since we worked in different locations I didn't always see him at work but there was always the possibilty as we both worked at each location as our jobs dictated.
As it turned out that Monday I was covering the reception desk and as I answered the phone I heard D's voice on the other end - he was laughing and teasing me about Saturday. I was so relieved to hear his voice and realize that our friendship wasn't ruined - it was far from ruined. When I told him I was concerned about ruining our friendship he laughed and said that kissing me would never ruin our friendship; if anything it made us closer.
There is definitely an attraction there but we both realized we wouldn't want to lose what we had as friends.
I haven't kissed a boy in so long that I almost forget what it's like. I miss having someone special to kiss.
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